The Sentinel begins 2019 with‘‘Confronting the Crisis,’’ a series of articles focusing on how the opioid addiction issue is being addressed in northern Dauphin County.
This week’s issue features an interview with Millersburg resident Scott Hill about his journey from decades of addiction to recovery, and his outreach to help others recover as well.
Additional articles will be published as space permits.
‘I don’t ever want to forget…’
Clean 4 years, Scott Hill works to help others ‘see the light’
After 23 years of addiction, Millersburg-area resident Scott Hill marked his fourth consecutive year in recovery Nov. 23.
The Upper Dauphin Area High School graduate is now actively involved working with others on their own recovery journeys.
He agreed to share his story with Sentinel readers via this ‘‘Q&A’’ format.
How and when did the path to addiction begin for you? What was the context of it?
I was given opiates following an automobile accident. Context: Mainly prescriptions, but also illicit drugs, anything to dull the harshness of my reality and make me numb to life.
Was it a gradual path over a long period of time, or shorter?
I believe that I was “hooked” from the get-go. So, it was a very short time before I became addicted.
My body craved the drugs I took during my 23-year-long habit.
What factors played into what happened to you? Why did you go down this road at that season of your life?
Drugs took away the pain and made me indifferent to life on life’s terms.
At its worst level, what was your dependence? What did you feel you needed to take/ingest to survive or get through the day?
At the end of my active addiction, which was fueled by opioids and marijuana, I was also smoking crack. If I didn’t, at least, have Methadone or Fentanyl in my system, my body would not work, and I felt like dying. On this road, what was the fallout for you, personally or professionally?
I have lost the highest paying job I ever had indirectly through drug usage. More importantly, the damage I did to my family was the worst of the fallout. I pushed them to their limits … almost lost my brother forever.
What incident or incidents started you on a new journey – your journey to recovery?
I am a single-father of a beautiful young lady. I could not stand making her bear anymore trauma that comes along with having an addicted dad.
Would you describe your journey to recovery as relatively free of speed bumps? Was it a challenging process? If so, what made it challenging?
Recovery certainly is not without its trials.
Just because we put a substance down, doesn’t mean we don’t have to deal with the consequences of having picked it up.
Early recovery is not a walk in the park. Not to discourage anybody but: You have got to want it. It’s tough.
Congratulations on your recovery!
How long has it been for you now, and what do you do on a daily basis to stay focused and on the journey?
I have been substance-free for four years (as of Nov. 23).
I go to meetings regularly and help others who are struggling with their own addictions. We can only keep what we have by giving it away. I don’t ever want to forget about the destructive emptiness I used to feel lest I get complacent and relapse.
At what point did the idea of working with others in recovery – at what point did that enter the picture for you? Why did you choose to do this outreach?
Once upon a time, I had resigned myself to a life of drug use. I couldn’t even imagine a life without them. I’ve experienced withdrawal; for anybody who has never been addicted – believe me, it is horrible.
Once I got some clean time under my belt and my brain began to function properly, I just wanted to help other people see the light and realize that nobody has to live that way.
In working with others on this journey, what is your approach? How do you keep others encouraged and “on mission,” so to speak?
I don’t look at individuals in recovery as addicts or alcoholics. I see them as people: human beings.
The best way to keep somebody “on mission” is to simply share your experience, strength and hope with them. Come at them with compassion, not judgment.
What has been the most challenging part of working with others? What has been the most fulfilling?
The most challenging part of working with others is dealing with addictive behaviors. Manipulation is a very handy tool for a user.
The most fulfilling part is letting somebody know that you care about them, helping them feel some worth again and that they are not in this alone.
As a newspaper that has covered the town hall meetings in 2017 on the region’s opioid crisis, one theme kept recurring – breaking the stigma, challenging/changing the stereotypes. From your perspective, what stigmas, what stereotypes remain?
In my opinion, it is a huge stigma that addiction is a moral defect or a conscious choice.
Repeated use of a drug is no longer a choice that the user decides upon. The chemicals in these drugs hijack our brains. They create new cognitive pathways.
Abnormal neurotransmitter activity can make a person behave in a way that they normally would not.
You have said you have shared you story in other public settings. What are some of the reactions you have received? Do any of those reactions show you that there is still much people need to learn about addiction, particularly “the facts” and not just what they heard about, or think they know?
I have had my story published in newsletters and spoke in various churches … and of course, on a personal level with anybody who wanted to hear it.
Most reactions were along the lines of “I would have never known” or “me too.”
The difference between the facts and your personal feelings is right where the stigma resides. Stigma is killing people.
In what capacity do you serve with Gaudenzia and/or with Dauphin County?
I am a certified recovery specialist at Gaudenzia: New Options in Harrisburg. I am a member of the Dauphin County HOPE Collaborative. I serve as an adviser for Northern Dauphin Addiction Recovery and Empowerment project (NDARE).
Is there anything at all that we have not asked you, or not touched on, that you feel is important for our readers to know? Our readers, of course, include young people as well as parents, possibly parents of individuals struggling with addiction.
One thing I would like to say to parents of individuals struggling with addiction – Your loved one is not intentionally hurting you. In fact, if they have been using for any length of time, your loved one is not the same person anymore.
Love them, but do not enable them. Take care of yourself, first and foremost.
And to the kids – If you need to be “messed up” to enjoy your life, you’re doing it wrong. Pick the right friends, or the wrong ones will pick you.
(Photos courtesy of Scott Hill)
Photo One. Scott Hill with his daughter Hannah and their dog Piper.
Photo Two. Scott Hil
